The official blog site of, New York Times best selling author, Karrine Steffans as well as related entities Steffans Publishing and Year Seventy-Nine Television and Film.
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So, there I was, out of my mind. I had to be to do what needed to be done.
Terry wanted nudes.
And, though I’d obviously been nude in public before, there was so much more on the line. After all, this is the man who has shot everyone who’s anyone, from GaGa to Lohan and beyond.
I wanted to be a part of that.
I wanted to do this opportunity justice.
I wanted to vomit.
But, instead, I strapped on my pretty pink cock and did what I do best. I put on a show and did my best to make Terry proud. I acted out. I rebelled against myself and the life I’d been leading, the life no one saw. I rebelled against that broken, battered, put upon housewife, who’d been shamed into believing no one would ever love her so she’d better just stay where she was. She’d better hide from the world and take her licks. She’d better take that belt he swung at her and the spit he hurled into her face. I was rebelling against the woman who believed she deserved it and that she’d never be desirable again.
I was outrageous.
I was high as fuck.
I was coming back to myself.
We shot for hours and I kept drinking, kept popping pills, kept stripping, and stroking that pink cock. I felt empowered by my body, by that pretty pink dick strapped around my thighs. I felt desirable as Terry coaxed me and brought out the vixen, the vamp, and personas I’d never known before that day.
Each frame was more outrageous than the last and then, before I knew it, I was completely naked and sprawled on the cold, hard concrete floor…
Teriyaki curry salmon, coconut peas and rice (made with black beans), sweet potato, and a side salad with blue cheese dressing.
Season salmon to taste with salt, garlic, pepper, curry, and five spice powder. sprinkle with olive oil and place a pat of butter on each salmon steak.
Bring one can of coconut milk and a half can of water to a simmer. Drain beans and add to the milk. Add salt, fresh tyme, sugar, and let simmer. Add rice and steam until fully cooked.
Clean, peel, and cut sweet potatoes. Place in a saucepan of water with a pinch of salt and bring to a boil until potatoes are soft.
I’d been craving these for a while. The TV commercials were taunting me — turning me out!
Finally, I stopped by Baskin Robbins and picked up these little Ice Cream Cake Bites and was mortified to find that just five of these little bites are $9.99! I could’ve gotten a whole pint of ice cream for that price!
But, I didn’t.
I got the Bites.
The cake is kinda blah and they are super sweet, but that’s not going to stop me from crushing the f*ck out of these little ice cream cakes!
About a year and a half ago, I shot with famed photographer, Terry Richardson.
Actually, I didn’t just shoot.
I called Blaire, my buddy Mikel Monroe and, makeup/hair stylist, Jag Adore and paraded down to the photography studio just steps away from Santa Monica beach.
I was nervous.
I had been tucked away in my mini-mans on the hill for years and was suffering from a horrible bought of low self-esteem. I was stuck in an abusive marriage and had lost about 30 pounds and all my swag. After being told by my husband, for so many years, that I was nothing and that no one liked me, I believed it.
So, I stayed in the house and away from the flashing lights that come with my job. I was sure I would never leave the house, again!
But, when I received a call from Terry Richardson Studios, I had to make a decision.
There I was, sitting in the parking lot of my son’s school, waiting for the school bell to ring like all the other unassuming housewives, when my phone rang, first.
If this were any other photographer asking to shoot me, I would have said no. But this was Terry Richardson and it would be an honor to say he’d shot me, even once.
So, I mustered up the courage, downed a handful of feel-good prescription pills, chugged a pitcher of Red Bull and Vodka and stumbled into the studio — on high.
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Drink Fuck Sleep is an anthology consisting of a series of essays depicting regrettable sexual experiences wherein the consumption of alcohol was involved, either before, during, or after.
The anthology will be available in June, with pre-sales beginning in April.
The official blog site of, New York Times best selling author, Karrine Steffans as well as related entities Steffans Publishing and Year Seventy-Nine Television and Film.
